Students adapt to new homebound reality

As the coronavirus kicks the metaphorical snot out of the United States’ healthcare system, and otherwise acting as the bull in the china shop to most aspects of everyday life, it’s safe to say that most people are going to staying home for awhile. So, while students adjust to their new reality—where Zoom facsimiles legitimate human connection with other people and the next large group activity they will participate in could be ice skating —it is important to look inwards in these trying times. Not in a ‘personal growth’ sense but to ‘literally look around your house.’ You may be surprised on what you find.

As the extended sight of loved one’s faces starts to become unbearable, many students have decided to travel. Specifically, travel to the new and exciting corners of their residences to try and study in peace. Some recommended destinations include your parent’s office, the dining room (headphones recommended) and the desk you do have in your bedroom that’s been mainly used for storage up until this point.

“I really needed this,” reports Eliza Solice, junior accounting major. “Like, it took about two weeks for my parents to recognize that just because I’m home full time does not mean I suddenly have all this time on my hands.”

With some excavation, dusting, and re-arranging, these spaces could very well end up potential work spaces, or if nothing else a place to go when your siblings refuse to turn the volume down while watching Tiger King, and you have a paper due in three hours.

Some have claimed that such expeditions can be educational. The archeology department had been using such at-home explorations as a kind of at-home practicum.

While making quarantine playlists featuring such bops as Britney Spear’s “Toxic” and R.E.M’s “It’s the End of the World,” Viterbo history and archeology students are encouraged to engage in an academic excavation into the hidden depths of their entire iTunes collections. Students may rediscover songs from their grunge phase, songs from their bubble pop phase, and other embarrassing and eclectic taste phases. Re-discovered TV shows that were bought five to six years ago can almost be considered new if you’ve practically forgotten about them.

Other programs of study have been embracing the quarantine. Dietetics students have been challenged to come up with nutritious meals with restricted grocery shopping opportunities.

Ecology majors have been doing extended field observations of such species as canis lupis familiaris and felis catus, keeping field journals as they observe these creatures in their natural habitats. Their parents have appreciated these students taking over full responsibility for caring for their pets.

Microbiology majors have not been assigned any new practicums, as most are busy enough fielding questions from panicked relatives, neighbors, and Facebook friends. The nursing majors have been turned over to the psych majors for counseling.

It will be interesting to see what more kinds of fascinating at-home practicums emerge going into the future.