"Hatching Baby” hatches, might be plotting world domination

Many have seen "Hatching Baby” a gift from La Crosses’ sister city. The giant blue baby has been an odd addition to our city, fulfilling its intent of capturing the anxiety of the artist who created it. As an art piece it does a good job of sharing this emotion with those who view it, especially now when it has fully hatched and appears to be working on taking over the city.

Officials have not yet commented on when the baby began its rampage, but several witnesses have noticed that it happened sometime last night. The statue was reported to have been a statue as late as ten pm, though after that point stories became conflicted, with alcohol being the main reason. Those near the statue had many and varied stories, though most admit that by bar time it was moving. Exactly how and why the statue came to life is also still a mystery, though experts currently have two main theories, alien and dark magic.

Those who think aliens speculate that it was an alien the entire time with a mental projection making it look like the statue. Perhaps it was an egg that projected the hatching image in an effort to warn us and make people less suspicious when it inevitably hatched. The mental projection of the statue could have been used to help keep it safe until it hatched.

Others are less convinced and think it might be the unfortunate side effect of black magic. Either the original artist was a wizard who managed to freeze a demon and thought a statue would be a safe enough way to store it. This clearly worked well until recently when something allowed it to break free. If not a frozen demon, it could have been some locals messing around with animation.

Either way, it does not seem to be a good day in La Crosse.

Currently, the baby seems to be establishing a lair on Pettibone island, though attempts to communicate with the baby have been proving difficult. Between not speaking English, and being an infant, the demonic blue child communicates primarily through coloring. Giant crayon drawings show the blue menace standing over various capitol buildings, and one satellite image shows a picture that looks suspiciously like a blue person standing over a burning Earth.

If demands are being made, they are still being interpreted, though peace offerings litter the shore of the island. So far there are seven ponies, half a candy store, and the largest crayons local factories have been able to produce. Shrieks and giggles are still being heard from the island, but few have been able to see the baby first hand. The main signs of life are the sounds of building, like a million giant Lincoln Logs, or a sand castle the size of a real castle.

Readers are warned to be especially careful if they need to go near the island, and to keep their eyes open for demonic babies. Good luck and stay safe out there, readers!