Student Found Trapped in Pile of Leaves: Does Not Wish to 'Leaf'

With the changing of the seasons, Wisconsin is dazzled once again with the natural beauty of the leaves. Fond memories spring forth as people once again take to the hills, to pick apples, find pumpkins, or just rocking a good flannel shirt. Children play in piles of leaves before the snow can freeze them or parents can rake them away. The air is fresh and filled with warmth, happiness, and pumpkin spice. For one student however, the leaves have offered an escape route from the trials of midterms, and the impending finals. The student, who now goes by Queen of the Leaves, reportedly tripped while walking home reading a note sheet at 4:00 a.m. They were uninjured, but fell into a deep pile of leaves, from which they were unable to escape. “It’s not like I was trying that hard,” mentioned the student, “there are not tests in the leaves, no quizzes, no ten-page single space papers. It’s a simple life; I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner.”

Yet currently there is little concern for other students having equally unfortunate experiences as unrest seems to be rising in “Leaf Narnia.” With the continued sinking of the temperature, some of the leaves have been flying southeast for the winter, leaving their queen behind, calling for the others to leave their queen behind and follow their instincts. Yet some wish to stay with their benevolent new monarch. A civil war may be looming, which will further limit student’s exposure. When asked about the political state of her kingdom, the Queen of the Leaves seemed unfazed stating, “I just get to sleep now. I don’t even care that much anymore; they are my subjects and I love them, but I really just want to go back to sleep.” Truly words for the record books.

We here at the Lemon, though, would like to add a mention to potential copycats, education is important. No matter how much the world of leaves might call to you, please to not join them. Talking leaves rarely lead to a good outcome. Especially with the impending threat of a leaf civil war, many will be trying to recruit, do not listen to them. They are leaves. Studying will help more and be of more use.