Moon Landing Remembered

Today marks the 49-year, three-month, and two-day anniversary of the moon landing, or does it?  For years, people have speculated whether or not the famous Apollo 11 trip succeeded in its mission, or if it even left on one.  Now, new evidence reveals that the moon landing was indeed a fake, and not for the reasons you would think. 

With people all over the world staring up at the night sky and seeing the famous disk that we’ve been hearing about for all of history, it seems odd that it has been there, sitting perfectly, for that long.  Nothing lasts that long.  Certainty not a cell phone.  With iPhone batteries not surviving more than three years with normal updates, how could something launched into space during the stone age have lasted this long?  Clearly, Grunk and his buddies did get drunk one night and thought it was hysterical to launch the first wheel into space, but it couldn’t still be there today, that is just crazy talk.  

Second, the moon cannot be made out of cheese; it would have gone bad by now.  Cheese left out on the counter gets fuzzy within a few weeks, and the moon is even closer to the sun, which is clearly just a giant Easy Bake Oven, which means that if it were real, it would be covered in fuzzy green stuff by now.  But it is not.  Instead, it is just white and pale, with strange grey bits. 

Then there’s the whole issue of time.  The supposed moon is over 200,000 miles from Earth.  That means that the average person would need to walk continually for almost five years to reach it.  No one can walk that far.  It’s madness.  Even in a car, if you traveled 50 miles per hour, and threw a triangle out the window, you could never hit the moon.  200,000 miles is much too far for that.  And when you add in wind resistance and the rising gas prices, the trip is totally economically unsound.  What even would there be on the moon?  A bounce house?  Actually, in hindsight, that would be pretty dang great. 

With the ease of getting floating lanterns, it is no surprise that there is a fake moon.  Anyone can get a balloon at the dollar store, and even look at the names.  Moon = balloon; it even rhymes.  Clearly, this is all a set up.  Look out and see the truth.  Tonight, don’t be sheeple, don’t buy into the lie.